Celebrant Pam Vetter


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One year after murder of actress
Contributed by: Pam Vetter

9/18/06 Valley News Article

To her fans, Tara Correa-McMullen was known as an actress from TV's "Judging Amy," "Zoey 101,"and the movie "Rebound" with Martin Lawrence. But, to her immediate family, she was a special girl who made them laugh and brought them joy.

It will be one year since Tara's murder on October 21, 2005. At the young age of 16, she was shot to death in a drive-by shooting as she was talking with friends outside of an Inglewood apartment complex last year. Two other men were also injured in the shooting.

Earlier this year in March 2006, the police arrested and charged 20-year-old suspected gang member Damien Watts with one count of murder for Tara's death. Watts was also charged with two counts of attempted murder. A preliminary hearing may take place in mid-October.

For Tara's family, they have done their best to move forward over the past year. It has not been easy. Not a day goes by that they don't think about the daughter they lost.

Devra Correa-McMullen, Tara's mother, explained, "There are so many different stages of grief when you lose a child. You learn how to deal with daily life and your grief. You have to take it one step at a time. To me, it doesn't seem like it happened a year ago."

Devra keeps in touch with ex-husband Thomas McMullen, who has also been dealing with his daughter's death.

"A situation like this can tear relationships apart, but with Thom and I, when it comes to our children, we have always been able to stay focused on them. There is no blame. That has been important in our relationship. In fact, we might get together and have a remembrance on October 21st," she said.

Tara's sister, Abigail Correa-McMullen, 19, has been dealing with grief in her own way.

A singer and songwriter, Abigail, has been putting her grief into song. She writes about Tara in her lyrics and music. It seems to help. She's also excited about her career, which is growing. She has a manager now and she's also working on her own album.

Everyone who has heard Abigail sing in person is emotionally moved by her amazing voice. It was a talent she shared with her sister. Together they sang acappella, harmonizing each part. Now, Abigail is finding the strength to carry on for both of them. She is dedicated and driven to succeed, much like her sister.

"Together we remember Tara in special ways. We remember Tara a lot with music. We have family dates together. We had to re-establish the Christmas holiday, do something different just to get through. But, it's about staying open. When things come up with memories or tears, we let them flow," Devra explained.

"You have to do what is right for you. My heart goes out to people who are stuck in the grief process. I check in with myself and do what is right for me. When I need to go cry, I do that. I don't worry that it's not what I'm supposed to do," she said. "I have a new friend whose son died in the bedroom of her house. She feels like she should go home, but she hasn't been able to go back home. Her husband lives there. It's been very hard for her but she has to do what is right for her."

"Counseling has also helped me. It gives me someone to talk to," Devra said. "I know this isn't over but now we have someone appointed as an advocate to keep us updated with the court system. I'll be honest, it has been a long, frustrating process. We tried to get help when Tara was alive and it was frustrating then. Now, we can only do what we can do. Having an advocate and a lawyer to deal with media requests also helps."

Unfortunately, for many, grief does not end. It only changes and takes other forms. "For us, it is a daily thing to deal with. We are all functioning, but the grief comes in waves. Sometimes I'm overtaken by it, but I try not to shut down and we try to stay busy." Devra added, "Abigail has kept me going because she needs me, too."

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