Celebrant Pam Vetter


	Celebrating Life Everyone Has A Story...

Celebrants celebrate lives at Convention
Contributed by: Pam Vetter

5/25/07 Valley News Article

The first International Celebrant Convention was held in Oklahoma City where Certified Funeral Celebrants from Los Angeles, 20 different states, Canada, England, and New Zealand, discussed ways to help families with the funeral process.

A Certified Funeral Celebrant is someone who meets with the family after a death and guides them through the funeral process while providing a tribute that is personalized to reflect the personality and life-style of the deceased.

At the convention, Celebrants shared resources along with interesting ways to create a meaningful funeral service.

In-Sight Institute Founder and author Doug Manning said the convention inspires and educates Celebrants.

"We want to give families hope while providing a new enthusiasm to Celebrants," Manning said. "The bottom line is grief. We want to help people get through this difficult time and begin healing. The most powerful part of the body is the ear for listening to stories from a family. People want someone to guide them, be there for them, and respond to their pain. People want to be heard."

"On-going education for our Celebrants is imperative," In-Sight Institute Dean Glenda Stansbury added. "Advanced training is the next step for Celebrants because the needs of every family are different. There has never been such a passionate drive in my life than to make Celebrants a household name so families know they have a choice when it comes to funeral service."

Celebrants from around the world shared stories about their most meaningful funeral services.

"I did a service for a baby who had died 47 years ago. The mother called me and said she never had a service for her baby and she never moved forward with her own life because she was stuck. No one spoke about death and they told her to get over it. People changed the subject and no one would listen to her," said Independent Funeral Celebrant Terri Shanks of England. "We did a memorial service and planted a tree for the baby as a marker to remember the life. Families need to know it's never too late to have a service."

"We did a service for a 22-year-old man who was killed in a bombing in Bali while on holiday. He was a New Zealand representative Cricket and Rugby player and well-respected. The entire team came to the service dressed in uniform, then the Captain of the team gave the eulogy," explained Celebrant Dick Ireton of Betts Funeral Service in New Zealand. "His casket was carried out under the guard and 1,700 people were present. It was powerful and personal. The family was grateful for our efforts. Families need to remember that an extra day makes a huge difference in creating a personal farewell."

"We had a very difficult situation when a 21-day-old child died from Meningitis. The parents of the child did not plan a service because they didn't hold funerals when their parents died. But, we had a reception that turned into a service and it was amazing," said Celebrant Jack Bowers of Salmon Arm, British Columbia, Canada. "We went month-by-month through the pregnancy plus the 21 days. The three-year-old sister was running around the service as it started and she ran up into my arms and handed me a piece of candy. I lifted her up and told everyone, 'Look at this girl. She's going to be a helper.' Everyone laughed as this little girl brought life into the service. It comes down to this: Old-style funeral homes don't realize the world is changing around them and people aren't being served with generic services. We share the entire life story, along with the facts of the tragedy. There are families who are giving their loved ones permission to go and we share those values during the service as well. It makes a difference for the family to hear it in the service."

"One of our most unique services was for a cowgirl. We put her saddle on the casket and hired a country singer to sing songs," said Celebrant Bob Huskey of the Anderson Tribute Center in Hood River, Oregon. "We brought in a chuck wagon and people were eating her favorite food. Every aspect was personal to her life and loves. There are no rules when it comes to funeral service. It's nice when a funeral home owner is not afraid and allows a family to do whatever works for them."

"The widow stood up at one of my services and said, 'You told me things about my husband of 54 years that I didn't know.' It was a great validation of doing my job of interviewing former employees and friends," noted Celebrant Timothy Maloney of Santa Rosa Memorial Park, Calfornia. "At the end of another service, for a man who was known for his dancing, those in attendance were dancing to big band music in the aisles of the chapel."

"For a wonderful elderly lady, we had the five-year-old great-grandchild of her deceased son help with the closing rose ceremony," Bill Joyner of the Bright Funeral Home in Wake Forest, North Carolina, explained. "Each person removed a rose petal and placed it in a velvet pouch to go with her in the casket to her final resting place. I received a kind thank you note from the family."

"The family meeting is so important. One time I met with the 64-year-old husband of the decedent and four of his six grown children. As we began talking, I was blessed to watch the healing going on and trust building between us. The husband told the story of their early financial problems and losing all of their children to foster parents, one was even adopted out. But, he was so proud and happy to say, 'We got them all back!'" explained Celebrant Christine Williams of the Peterson and Chilson Funeral Homes in Minnesota. "The couple survived their struggles and they were married for 50 years. So, her service focused on her life as a wife and mother. It was beautiful."

"When a family member says I've made them feel comfortable in this difficult time of loss, it's the most important moment," added Celebrant Susan Tuomela of Mt. Iron, Minnesota.

"This is about choice. Families have a choice to choose a Celebrant. After one service I conducted for a 46-year-old woman, her brother said he really felt proud to be her brother," explained Frank Brown, of the Eddy-Birchard Funeral Home in Osawatomie, Kansas. "In another service, the widow stood up at the graveside service and asked me to stand beside her and put my arm around her. She said, 'As Frank shared highlights from my husband's life, I re-lived 50 years of happiness. It was like being on the old television show, 'This is Your Life!'"

"The most memorable service was for the man who owned a tavern that I frequented 25 years ago. As a recovering alcoholic, I stopped drinking and lost track of the man. He had sold his business, moved on and started a life of sobriety as well. When he died, I conducted his service," explained Celebrant William Cavanagh of the Maresh and Brooks Funeral Homes in Minnesota. "I had plenty of stories to share with the family."

"Being a Celebrant brings together skills of listening, discovery, storytelling, compassion, writing, and ceremony," said Celebrant Katie Birchenough of Asheville, North Carolina. "It is an opportunity for us to be of service to the family."

"Seeing the smiles of family members during the service, you know you have captured those good memories," added Celebrant John Gardiner of Edmonton, Alberta, Canada. "I knew I wanted to be a part of this Celebrant movement to share the essence of the deceased and tell the stories of a lifetime!"

For more information on Certified Funeral Celebrants, link to: www.InsightBooks.com.

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